My Stupid Life Sucks Fri, 3 September 04

Jacelyn • Filed under: Personal, Ranting • 2:23 am • Comments(0)

Today I was slacking in school, can’t do the stupid programming I was wondering why am I so lazy and stupid. Can’t even do simple programming after 3 years of poly education. What had I done all these years? Where had all my education gone to?

In the evening, I met him. But we quarrelled. Cos I said something which I promised him not to say. I said I don’t trust him. He flared up. Yes, I don’t trust him, after all he lied to me alot of times. But again and again, I forgave him. Why? Because I care for him, I love him. But doesn’t seemed to care. Why? What the fuck had I done to be so miserable in this life. Am I a murderer in my previous life and I had to endure all these fucking shit? Why am I giving more than I am receiving? Am I so damn unlucky in relationships? I’m so hurt. Never ever am I gonna fall seriously in love again. Never

And why did I change so much. Even my mum says I’ve changed alot And I can only give this answer, I was forced to it. Yes, due to stress from family and relationships. It’s time for me to be independent, I can’t just let others step right on my head, taking me for granted. I wanna be strong. I wanna have my freedom. I wanna do the things I want to do all these years. I want to have a mind of my own. I'm not anyone's puppet